It has been awhile since i have done this. I broke free last august. I summoned
all of my will and made a last stand for my sanity and a chance to put out the GT
fire that was smoldering with me. Her fumes completely engulfed my life, my $$$,
and my xxx. my only chance was cold going cold turkey. It was much harder than i
ever imagined. cold sweats, edginess, constant bodily urges and mental tempations.
It was so hard to long on to the computer and fight my deeply programmed impulses to
look at updates, her blog, and minute by minute tweets. Even had to fight off the
urge and habit of checking into her amazon wishlist. Even that!!! She managed to
make arousing for me. Months went by and slowly i managed my way out and began to
gain some sense of normalcy. I had to get use to not having those “highs” that took
over me when she texted me to let me know a clip was ready for my consumption and
addiction. As time went by, i gained some sense
of “confidence” that i actually was back in “control” of my mind. i felt i was
strong enough to go back online and take a peak at what i had overcome. it was
late at night last month, GT had posted a series of microbikini clips. Then it
happened, i sat there staring at the preview, and that feeling that i suppressed,
that urge that washed thru my mind started to flicker back. I filled out the order
form and sat there for what seemed like hrs with my finger hovering over the enter
button. My mind was playing good cop bad cop on my shoulders. The longer i sat
there staring at the preview, i started to notice how my “mind’s logic” started to
be challenged. i was on the EDGE!!, i did it, hit enter and watched it
downloading. my heart started to pound as i new i should just cancel the download
and walk away. i couldnt move. the feelings started to flood my mind and body as
the clip popped open. Then i watched and felt that high, that high
was higher than i ever remember. maybe because it was repressed. it rebounded what
felt like a 100x fold. when it was “done” i swore that it was just one clip. i am
human and not to let it get to me. my hormones were flying after that. i let the
genie out of the bottle. i reached out to GT. before i knew what was happening she
had me buy her a few items off her amazon list. Then she made the clip to place me
back into her addictive world. i began communicating with her and i muttered the
words, “OLD HABITS NEVER DIE” Then, as she has so artfully and seductively done
time after time, she made the CLIP, 5/15/13. i couldnt stop watching it, well past
“3AM”. i went on a clip binge and bought all the clips that i missed during my
absence. It was if my period of mental freedom never happened at all. she now has
me in a constant mental cycle of clip consumption, what seems like nearly on a
daily basis. one after the other of her addressing
addiction, guidance, stroking, buying……… my mind has been turned back into
her putty. the pleasure is too intense and my control that i momentarily felt was
effortless taken away.
Hi Goddess Tierra,
Just a few words from an old lurker.. I’ve seen you evolve over time, 4, or 5, yrs
now for this boy.
It seems like forever ago you hooked me. You were my first experience with this sort
of thing. To think at the time, a lady in her late teens, early twenties, could have
such command. Whew, I wasn’t ready for this..
I Feel the walls closing in on me, I kept reading about the symptoms and the warnings that you posted, over and over but just took it at face value that it was for fun. But Each clip, each worship session leads me further and further down a one way path that I never would have imagined. My days are revolving around how to free my self up to watch your clips, constant checking in to your sites, tweets for updates, prompts, instructions. My life has become very focused. I get constantly in a state of arousal when thinking about you or viewing your world. Once that happens all reason, all all will melts away and that when you gently stroke my fire and sculpt my pliable mind. I have read over all of the writings of your addicts who have been afflicted with this condition and it is a recurrent theme. Like cumming down With Goddess Fever, or Richarditis.
Tierra,
Will you ever be re-posting any of your old clips from when you first opened your
store? Look forward to the opportunity to purchase some of those.
Thanks!
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Some of you have noticed, the majority of my older clips are now gone and in the near future even more will be disappearing. The reason behind this is to cut down on piracy which ,for some reason people love pirating my older clips and anything else they can get their hands on. I dont understand why someone would want to share something they paid for. I sure as hell wouldn’t take the effort but, that’s me. Anyways, I think it has helped a lot PLUS, I hate the low quality of my older clips and think my store looks better without them.
I am pretty on top of piracy of my videos with most links disappearing within 24 hours and sometimes LESS! Its a boring task for the offenders to keep uploading my stuff and a very quick task for me to get them down. I am alerted almost immediately by various sources of new links…its hilarious! I really do have a little army.
Another way I have cut WAY down on piracy is by inflating those prices. Only real fans and addicted slaves will pay such high prices for clips and more than likely because they are real fans they will never end up on piracy websites. So far NONE of my clips made in 2011 are online as far as I know…and I am pretty damn good.
One day when I am done making clips and years have gone by, those pay per view downloaded videos will be memorabilia to my true fans!
Woooohoooo! Not only will I be turning 24 in 2 days but I will be boarding my flight to paradise. Super excited its well over due! I will never wait this long in the year ever again to go out there lol I will be gone 9 days relaxing but, another reason I cant wait to get back is to really get cracking on all my projects I have going on.
*yawn* *yawn*yawn* atleast dumbass sent a giftcard, over $300 in clips AND bought 9 items from my wishlist. but STILL I *YAWN*
Your at the bottom of the bottom loser work your way from the bottom to the top! you are just like the rest now.
model mayhem a site for models and photographers to network but some like to use it as a dating site I guess what a complete idiot…
marcus isnt hot so he messaged every girl on modelmayhem today and ask us to leave FAKE comments telling him how hot he is……how pathetic dude! Really begging for compliments even if they are fake ugh…
